But first up it's how to crap into a plastic bowl.
To be honest, potty training is really quite exciting. It's about developing a skill he will hopefully have for the rest of his life. One that will change his - and my - life forever.
A change very much for the good.
The first step, of course, was to find the right potty. This meant test driving every one on the Babies Galore shelves. Trousers on, in case you're wondering.
Some were too easy to get off, some were to hard to get on. Some brought smiles to his face, others made him grimace and grizzle.
There are ones that are just a potty, and there are those with removable bowls. A few transform into the transitional seat that goes on the toilet. Ours does this and becomes a step that will one day help him reach the sink to wash his hands.
It also has a seat cushion, moulded into which is a flap to make sure he 'tucks in'. Appropriately named the Comfy Cushy, it will come in pretty damn handy should I ever get a case of hemorrhoids.
Or go to a stadium with old-fashioned wooden seats.
Four days in we've had just the one widdle, but Austin knows what the potty is and will happily walk himself to the bathroon to sit on it. He'll stay there for a good twenty minutes too, but only if he has a book or a phone.
The purist in me would like to think I could do this without those aids, but I figure they're going to come into play sooner or later.
That's why we'll be buying a house with at least two bathrooms.
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