Two For The Road

At-home parenting is all about balance. So, in a hectic week packed full of outings and activities done without leaving town, it made sense to also devote some time to planning our upcoming, boys-only 1,100km road trip from Melbourne to Sydney.

Tramps like us, as Springsteen says.

It’s not all about rock n’ roll, of course, and 1,100km is a lot of ground to cover with an infant, even in three days. It’s vital that each is split into at least three chunks to allow for decent lunch and play stops. The trip also has to be evened out and, while I’d like the nights to be spent in the nicest towns, I also want to avoid driving more than 400km in any one day.

The big question, then: ‘where ya gonna go?’

Day One: Melbourne to Glenrowan (288km)
The easy option would be to go straight up the Hume Highway at 110km/h, but what kind of way is that to start a road trip?

Instead we'll be taking a more easterly and far more scenic route through the Goulburn Valley. Like so much of the state, this is gold rush country. It is also, Lonely Planet tells me, Victoria's fruit bowl, which means Kate can rest easy about our 5+ a day.

Well, at least on day one.

Our first stop is a bit of a pilgrimage. I’ve been to Parkes to see The Dish, so when in the area of course I’m going to Bonnie Doon (I’m going to Bonnie Doon) to see the power lines under which the Kerrigans fished and laughed in The Castle.

Located on the shores of Lake Eildon, the product of a hydro scheme, Bonnie Doon is a 180km drive from Melbourne. This means we’ll be well over half way to Glenrowan by the time the boy wakes up from his morning sleep.

At least that’s the plan.

From Bonnie Doon we’ll make the short trip to Mansfield in the foothills of the Great Dividing Range. This is a town surrounded by grazing land and mountain forests. It also has several historic buildings.

That's great if you’re old. We’re going for the zoo. There Austin will meet Joey the Grey Kangaroo and his mates the wombats, dingos (don’t worry, I’ll be holding on tight), emus and galahs. For the less patriotic they also have lions, monkeys and llamas.

Less than an hour due north we’ll hit the Hume Highway for the short drive to Glenrowan where we'll spend our first night. It won't be a dinner time arrival though, because there's some boys' own fun to be had around here.

This is Kelly Country. Ned was hanged in the Melbourne Gaol, but Glenrowan is where he and the boys made their final stand.

Day Two: Glenrowan to Gundagai (366km)
There’s a track winding back
To an old-fashioned shack
Along the Road to Gundagai

Day two is shaping up as the most challenging because the big drive is in the early afternoon when Austin is least likely to sleep. First up is a 60km drive to Myrtleford, where there’s a piece of Carter Holt Harvey that hasn’t been sold off.

At least not yet.

In fact, it’s one of Australia’s biggest mills, making structural timber and plywood. I know this because they were a client for many years. Carter Holt Harvey is also where I met Kate.

From there it’s Yackadandah - a town which has given Kate a work colleague, and one that has a name very much worthy of a play stop. We'll need one, because next up is the 233km leg to Tumut.

Lying close to the state line, Tumut is another Carter Holt Harvey town. The mill isn’t as big as Myrtleford’s but it does have a state-of-the-art particulate emission filtration system.

This is important, because it means it'll be with clear mountain air in their lungs that the Clark boys will drive the final 34kms to Gundagai.

Nestled alongside the Murrumbidgee River, this town is famous, not just in song, but also for its old bridge.

This and Rusconi's Marble Masterpiece.

Day Three: Gundagai to Sydney (380km)
Our final day is our biggest drive. Add to that the fact that the first half looks pretty boring and the rest is territory we covered very recently on our Sunday drive to the Southern Highlands.

As a result it’ll be a case of sticking to the Hume so we can knock the bugger off.

There’ll be stops, of course, and the first will be Goulburn, some 180kms from Gundagai. This, I’ve just learned, was Australia’s first inland city. It has sweeping views, architectural heritage and The Old Goulburn Brewery.

Sounds like the perfect lunch stop.

Next up Bowral for the obligatory stop at the oval to pay our respects to The Don. Time allowing I may even take Austin back to that Toyworld store.

Even more time allowing and we'll return to one of the local wineries, but this time just to shop.

Then the big haul to Sydney. This 120km leg was smooth driving with Austin last time so I’ll be hoping for a repeat effort. He’ll be awake for the last 2km though, because we’ll being going home via Pyrmont to pick Kate up from work.

It’s a bit like when Ewan McGregor let his wife ride with the boys for the final leg of Long Way Down.

So that’s the plan. One car, two boys, three days. It’s a big ask for the young lad, but with plenty of stops and early motel check-ins I’m quietly confident he’ll take it in his stride.

I hope he does, because between The Castle, Ned Kelly, Joey the Grey Kangaroo, The Dog on the Tuckerbox and Don Bradman, there’s a lot of Australia for a young lad to soak up.